A letter to my husband

I am starting this letter early. Earlier than I should. I am starting this letter in the hopes that one day it makes its way to you. This road hasn't been easy. It hasn't been fun or beautiful, at least not in the way I had hoped it would be. It hasn't been perfect. But it has been ours. 
From the moment I met you I knew you were the right person for me. Something about being with you felt easy and sweet and wonderful and nothing else mattered. We always had each other. I took a leap of faith when I broke off my engagement to pursue what I had hoped would be a future with you and I'm glad I did. Our life is so special to me and you are so special to me. 
I never imagined we would struggle to have a family. And I'm sorry we have. I never realized that I could be the thing that holds us back from having a child. That there was something inside me that could stop us. We've stood strong through five years of trying to have a baby. Two years of waiting. Three years of infertility. Blood tests, semen tests, ultrasounds, charting. Temping. Crying. Five years of patience when the last thing we wanted to do was be patient.
Thank you for not giving up on me even when I gave up on myself. Thank you for pushing me to keep trying on the days where I felt broken, afraid and insecure. Thank you for holding me when I cried, for being angry at the world with me. For trying to find solutions where there weren't any and for listening when I just needed the ear. Thank you for the countless specialist and doctors appointments you sat through. Thank you for being our cheerleader when I couldn't be any more. 
Thank you for understanding why I couldn't. 
I want you to know that I love you more than I ever imagined I could love a single person. I am eternally grateful to you for showing me that love in return. 
As we take this next step in life I want you to know that there is no other person I could imagine by my side, no one else I'd want by my side.

at 7w3d Baby H (measuring 7w1d) with a heart rate of 156<3

I love you, Steve Harris and I know I'll love our baby with the same fierceness that I love you.