TTC Wednesday: I'm breaking up with (cheap) pregnancy tests

One of the most exciting things you will discover in this ridiculously long journey is the pregnancy test strip. They are similar to the ovulation strip but for some reason not even close to as accurate. My ovulation strips are spot on.  The pregnancy strips, however, are liars. These strips can be disguised in a case and sold at the dollar store for $1.25 a piece or can be found online for as cheap as 50 for $7.59. YEP, 50 tests for less than the cost of the no name brand test at Walmart. Glorious, right? NO. 
Sunday morning, after a week of getting squinty lines on the strips I ordered from the internet I dragged Steve out to the dollar store and bought 5 tests for $6.25. Not the worst I've ever wasted on a pregnancy test, by far. And I took one. Negative. Ehh, no big deal. I'm only 9DPO, super early. Plus with the ovulation strips I test way better at night and since it's so early... I should test at night, right? (Please note, I'm an idiot). So I take another one after dinner. BAM. This happens:

That is a good looking test right? Holy shit. It's actually the best looking test I've ever gotten. It even passed the invert test, though don't be fooled, an evap will show on an invert just as well as a positive. Except I'm maybe not as big as an idiot as I'd like to think and I decide, I should take another one. Just to be safe. Negative. It's so white it glows. So I'm like.... wtf? And I crack them open. 

It's a dye run. The worst dye run I've ever seen. Well, at least the meanest. So I had a small melt down with Steve & Harley and resolved to never take another pregnancy test ever again. (HA). The next morning I finished off my dollar store tests, all negative looking and then my last internet strip did this:

I'm like what are the chance these are all false? Apparently, pretty good. I got off the train early this morning, swung by Shoppers and grabbed a legit (as I am now calling them) pregnancy test and it's beyond negative. Yes, I'm still only 12DPO but I'm pretty sure this cycle is toast. The other thing is, though, I think I've learned my lesson. While I don't believe the $15 test at the grocery store is that much better than the strip on the internet, it at least seems to be more accurate. 

Negativeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I, Christy, Professional Pee-er On Things...er..., solemnly swear to never test before 13DPO again. To never buy an internet strip or dollar store pregnancy test again and to spend the TWW knitting, cuddling my cats and driving my husband crazy instead of sitting in my laboratory of a bathroom squinting at what will ultimately end up being a complete heartbreak. I will, however, keep using the ovulation tests cos those things are glorious.