I can't even tell you how many weeks it's been since I met the gynecologist. 8 Maybe? That sounds right. It was the cycle before last. You know the appointment? The one where she told me I was a stress case and I talked her into an HSG and she wanted to redo my blood work...
And the truth is... I haven't gone. I haven't even gone for the blood work. I know I need to. I know I should. I know I want to figure this all out.
Going for all the testing is exhausting. It's stressful and frustrating. I'm scared if we get the HSG I'll get pregnant right away. Or I won't get pregnant right away and they will find something else wrong with me. Or maybe I'll do it and nothing will come out of it. I have no idea which outcome scares me more but I'm not sure I'm ready to find out which one is the actual reality.
Part of me just wants to wait for the fertility clinic. I feel like I will get more answers or maybe feel better about the answers coming from them? They will have more options maybe? I have no idea.
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