I'm sitting here after throwing up yet another dinner. My iron is so low (even with taking 180mg a day) they think I'll need a blood transfusion after delivery. My second GD test came back borderline so I'm being referred to the Diabetes clinic. My prescription to not throw up costs $180 a month and only sorta works. I'll need a blood sugar monitor (likely free) and test strips (pricey) and maybe insulin (I'm betting that costs money too). I'll need to track everything I eat and my blood sugar after. There are rules about what you're supposed to eat at every meal. I'm not sure how it works when half of everything you eat comes back up anyway. Carbs are the only thing I tend to keep down regularly. Carbs = sugar = nope.
I'm feeling frustrated. I'm already taking 10+ pills a day just to get through the day. I eat what I think I can keep down and even then I'm only right half the time. I'm unemployed. Steve's unemployed. I don't have the money for all this medication.
I wanted to love being pregnant. I mean, we tried for 5 years to get pregnant for crying out loud. I love my daughter so much, every time I feel her I'm just in awe of her existence.
But being pregnant has been awful. I stopped counting but we're probably in the 60-70 range for the amount of times I've gotten sick in the last 6 months. It's hard to enjoy throwing up. The heartburn is so bad some days Zantac and tums combined don't touch it. And then the heartburn makes me throw up.
I'm sure my blood sugar is high because I don't exercise anymore and eat nothing but perogies and chicken and popcorn and I feel nauseous 24/7. We went to Costco and Sobeys this morning, we were gone for about an hour and a half and I needed to lay down when we got home from that so I wouldn't get sick.
I have no idea what the diabetes clinic is going to say but I'm not feeling overly confident in how this is gonna go.
I'm so very sorry. I so wanted to enjoy my pregnancy, but I spent the entire time miserably anxious (which makes me feel nauseated) and living off Diclegis. I assume you've tried everything, but a lot of my meals were liquid just to get enough calories in - ensure, instant breakfast, even just juice. If they do put you on insulin, make sure they know that you have times when you can't keep anything down. You don't want the insulin to make your blood sugar drop dangerously and then have trouble bringing it back up because you can't keep carbs down. Since you were borderline, I bet they won't put you on insulin if they don't have to. Take good care of yourself, and she'll be totally worth every bit of it when she gets here (as I'm sure you're already aware).
ReplyDeleteOh Christy :( It's ok to not love pregnancy even after wanting to be pregnant for 5 years. You can hate it. You are allowed. Everyone knows you are grateful and that you LOVE that little lady so dang much. Everyone knows that.
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