TTC Wednesday (though I think it's Tuesday. Maybe I shouldn't have dated these things.)

I'm feeling increasingly anxious about meeting the gynecologist. Most of the people I've spoken to who have seen them say there really isn't very much they can do. And if we need to start going to the Infertility Clinic we will have to pay out of pocket so that will be off the table for a little bit until I'm done school and Steve is done school and even then.

 

Can they help me?

Can anyone?

 

Maybe I'm just destined to not have kids. Is there a reason? Is there something the universe knows that I don't that means I shouldn't have kids?

 

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of thinking about this and worrying about it. I'm still charting simply because my doctors want to see the charts. I ovulate. My insides work. Sort of, I guess. Since my numbers are never quite high enough.

 

I have to see my family doctor next Monday and I'm going to ask her for a referral for someone to talk to. Between school and infertility I'm feeling overwhelmed and I just don't even know anymore.